Ever have that feeling where you know what you mean but somehow the words that come out just aren’t being understood. It’s so infuriating and can often make us feel either like we are going mad, or like the other person just doesn’t get us and the relationship (personal or professional) is just doomed.
Miscommunications and misunderstandings can be down to assumptions, language and emotional delivery! Also, we often don’t give all the information needed, especially if it’s something emotionally charged for us.
What am I talking about?!
Assumptions – when we speak, we often, unknowingly, assume someone else knows what we mean when we use certain words, or we think that their position or understanding of the context of what we are talking about is the same as ours. When we listen, we can have the same issues – we make assumptions and respond in a way that suggests we aren’t understanding, and a mismatch / miscommunication occurs.
Language – words are important; they convey so many different things for people. Examples of how words can be received differently:
‘Embrace your femineity’ – this is going to land differently depending on your view of the word ‘feminine’ –
Feminine / Woman – kind, gentle, strong, flowing, intuitive, knowing, connected grounded, loving, achiever, fearless, determined.
Or
Feminine / Woman – weak, less than, no boundaries, used, dominated, not as clever, irrational, over emotional, pathetic, without drive or passion.
Emotions! – If we are feeling hurt or vulnerable we can communicate in a defensive way without even realising it which reduces the strength of our point of view. Equally, if we are excited and passionate about something we intuitively know to be a good thing we sometimes leave others behind wondering what on earth we are talking about because we haven’t connected with them in a way where they can share in the excitement!
Talking with a Coach or Therapist can help you notice the words you use, the assumptions you make and the energy you put into delivery! Then, you can then be clearer about what you mean, connect with others better and get what you need, including better relationships!
